Ghosts

Shakespeare was right when he said, “All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances.” I wonder though, even after the curtain closes and the stage has gone dark, are the people who once played a part in our life ever truly gone? They may exit left but are they forever waiting backstage? Will they always have reserved front row seats? We may not be in touch with them; we may never actually see them again, but are they still with us? Do we keep them alive in our hearts and in our memories and in that way, never truly let them go?

And if so, what will it take to set them free, to set ourselves free? Do certain people stay with us, despite a current relationship, because the relationship is lacking closure? Despite years of disconnect is it still left undone? And if we could, would we reconnect with people who were once an important part of our life? Would we clear up regrets from the past? Would we bless one another with the gift of forgiveness? What if we were freer to move into our present relationships, with greater authenticity and courage and vulnerability, because we finally found closure from past relationships and past wounds.

Perhaps there is a reason why certain people keep coming to mind and relentlessly haunt us. We can't know for sure why this is until we move deeper into these relationships. This may or may not involve actually contacting them. Perhaps the work that needs to be done is within yourself - finding closure for yourself. And if you do choose to be in touch with someone from your past, what is your motivation? What are your hopes and expectations? Life is not written by a script and we can't direct another person's response. But we can do our part, to say I'm sorry, or thank you, or I forgive you. We can't

change our past. Scenes from our past are over and can't be undone. But they are not forgotten and can affect how we are relating to the people in our life today. We can move towards closure and healing and freedom for our future by inviting those "ghosts" back on stage, front and center. For we are never truly alone when we are on stage.

Feeling depressed?

Did you know that the opposite of depression is not happiness? I've been reading a great book about depression. It's called Undoing Depression by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D. He writes about depression not being a feeling but an inability to feel. When we are depressed, we are disconnected from what we are actually feeling. We may be feeling sad or lonely or anxious but as a way to protect ourselves from feeling the pain of those feelings, we block out those feelings. We may do this by keeping ourselves busy or distracted. We may do this through an addiction. We may do this by focusing on other people all the time. A depressed mood comes from this blockage. In this way, Dr. O'Connor writes that the opposite of depression would be a freedom to experience and express our feelings - whatever they may be - happiness, anger, sadness, fear, etc.
In order to know what we are feeling, we need to be connected to our feelings. What helps you connect to your feelings? Talking to someone you trust? Listening to music? Watching a movie? Journaling? Taking a walk? Getting out in nature? Time alone?

What feeling(s) are you working so hard to suppress?