Ten Facts About Eating Disorders

1. Eating disorders are not about food.

2. Your relationship with food will mirror your relationship with others.

3. An eating disorder is a desperate attempt to find control in a world (outside of you and within you) that is filled with chaos.

4. An eating disorder is a flee from pleasure.

5. An eating disorder is a disconnect from the body.

6. With an eating disorder, real fears that a person is unable to face are refocused onto fears regarding food, weight, and body image.

7. Unexpressed anger turns to revenge through an eating disorder.

8. We aren't born hating our bodies but most people (with and without an eating disorder) will spend the rest of our life making peace with our body.

9. Eating disorders are serious and potentially life-threatening. They do not go away in time or on their own. Eating disorders always require professional help.

10. Recovery is possible and happens within supportive, healing relationships.

Letting go

The process of letting go begins with naming what it is we need to let go of. So, let's write a letter together...

Dear _________, (this can be a person, a habit, an emotion, a regret, guilt, etc.)

I need to let go of you.

(From this sentence, fill the body of the letter in with anything you want. Make it as long or short as you want.)

Sincerely,

_____________

(Let me know how it goes!)

What women want

Remember that movie with Mel Gibson where he could read the minds of women to really learn and understand what they wanted? Today's post is asking for feedback from all you women readers out there. As a woman, what do you want? What do you want from the men in your life? What do you want from your friends and family? What do you want from the people you work with? What do you want from your children? (That is after all the first step towards getting what we women want - knowing what it is we want...)

I'll start (Jenna here)... As a woman, I want to be enjoyed.

Your turn...

enabling vs. helping

How can we know if we are being enabling or if we are being helpful to the people in our life? What is the difference? Sometimes there can be a thin line between the two. First, a definition - what is enabling? Enabling is a pattern of relating where you are doing for others what they need to be doing for themselves. Enabling is stunting another person's growth.

Helping vs. enabling...some questions to think about... Is your "helping" taking consequences away from another? Are you taking on responsibility that is not yours? For example, parents who consistently cover up their children's mistakes. Without consequences, children do not learn from their mistakes; they do not learn how to take personal responsibility or how to do things for themselves.

Another question: What are you getting out of your helping? Is it so you do not have to suffer? Is it about protecting your image? Is it to ward off guilt? Do you act out of fear of losing a relationship?

A final question: What is best for this person in the long run? There is no reason for someone to change if they are not required to. They are not required to change if you are enabling the damaging or unhealthy behavior to continue by cleaning up after the mess they leave behind. If someone is coming behind and sweeping up the "broken glass" they have left behind, one, they never have to face what they have done because the broken peices are no longer there as evidence, and two, they never have to deal with it relationally when the broken glass cuts into your feet or the feet of others.

Enabling vs. helping: It is not an easy distinction. There are no black and white answers and every case will be individual. How about you? What do you think the differences are?